Order: Farmer Sausage Sandwich with Sweet Potato Fries
Price: $11.50
Rating: 5/5
After an exhausting trip to the thrift store to buy a 25 cent Suzi Quatro 8-track, it was time for lunch. We headed across the street to MJ's Kafe. Who knew that Michael Jackson specialized in Mennonite Cuisine? German food a-plenty!
When you enter the front of the restaurant, you are presented with an array of trinkets, yucky butter tarts that are undoubtedly loaded with shitty raisins, and T-shirts that say "Oh Ba Yo" on them.
Food arrived in about 5 minutes. The sandwich was magnificent! To be honest, the only farmer sausage I've eaten before this was that packaged bullshit you buy in the supermarket. The meat they shoved in here is tasty! I swear I heard a pig being slaughtered in the back with how fresh and un-processed this meat is. And they have New Bothwell cheese on it! I've never been to New Bothwell, but I'm guessing the entire terrain is made of cheese, just like the moon.
The sweet potato fries are the best I've ever eaten. They've been seasoned with something I can't identify. I can only boil the seasoning down to pure joy. They're mildly crisp on the outside, and can even bring joy to a sad child who lost their parents in a horrific car accident.
The dipping sauce is chipotle, I think. It's really good, and has just enough zing to leave only a slight hand print after it slaps you in the face.
Now for the other stuff on the plate that's solely there to add "color". I honestly don't care about color. It could look like a pile of puke, but if it tastes as good as the rest of this meal, then I'm happy. The carrot strips try to bury themselves among the fries so they can laugh at you when you take a bite out of one and realize it's just a shitty carrot. The flavor of the carrot can be remedied by dipping it in the chipotle sauce, which actually compliments it really well.
We also get a tin of coleslaw. I honestly don't care if it's created with home made cabbages and warm Christian love, coleslaw is still outdated bullshit that should be extinct. Yes, I tried a bit, and yes it's just as terrible as every other coleslaw out there.
You know what would be better than coleslaw? More of those pieces of carrot! At least you can improve the flavor with the chipotle sauce. Coleslaw already comes with a sauce made from the tears of dead puppies. Seriously, we need to boycott coleslaw. It's the nastiest food on the planet. I'd rather eat a sweaty foot than eat a tin of coleslaw.
But I'm not going to judge this meal on the extra crap that comes on it. I paid for a sandwich and fries, and they were both amazing. I mean, just look at how much meat is in this thing! It's bloody fantastic, and you should eat here!
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