Charlees Restaurant, Winnipeg (Elmwood), Dec 21, 2018

Meal: Sweet Chili Chicken Wrap with House Salad
Price: $11.29
Rating: 4/5

I've eaten here before and the food is usually good, so I figured I'd eat something I haven't tried yet. Well, I've eaten the salad before, so I'm only telling you a half truth.

This place used to be a filthy bar where I met my filthy ex-wife. It's nice that they slapped a fresh coat of paint on the place, but even a fresh coat of paint couldn't fix my ex-wife. Regardless, the place looks better than it did back then, and there aren't any sketchy-ass drunks hanging out there anymore.

My meal arrived after about 15 minutes. May I present the twin towers!

The cucumbers are the friends that nobody asked for, but they went down the same hole and will likely come out the same hole. The salad is full of craisins which is fine. The chewy and crunchy works here unlike raisin bran where the stupid flakes get soggy in the milk and it turns into a shitty, chewy mess. None of that here!

The wrap came with an unexpected ingredient... Raw onions. I fucking hate raw onions, and they weren't listed in the ingredients on the menu. They're splattered all over the top like shit speckles on a toilet seat.

On the plus side, I couldn't really taste them. The sign of a good chef is when they bury the pieces of shit you hate and can no longer taste them. I swear this never happens, and it's a first for me. Good job to the chef! I still think they should have been listed in the ingredients on the menu.

The chicken was very tasty, and because the wraps were standing up, I got a nice drink of chili sauce at the bottom. They should probably lay the twin towers down when they put them on the plate to avoid that.

Overall, it was pretty enjoyable. I got to sing some karaoke afterwards which is always a good time.

Perkins, Winnipeg (St. James), Dec 16, 2018

Meal: Hearty Man's Combo

Price: $12.99

Rating: 5/5

We were planning to check out Ihop because we've never been. The lobby benches (if you can call them that) were full of hungry assholes who refused to cross the street and eat at McDonalds. When I'm hungry, I'm hungry now, so I have absolutely no desire to wait for a damn seat. I'd rather eat my own shit than sit and be hungry around a bunch of other hungry people who are irritated with waiting for a seat. Is Ihop really that good? Perhaps one day I'll find out, but not when I'm hungry to the point of chewing off my girlfriend's leg.

Instead, we went to Perkins. I always enjoy Perkins, and I've never had a bad experience. The same thing can't be said for the Christmas tree who appeared to be dying from the pure exhaustion of holding up a pointy star. Let's all say a prayer for the poor tree...

Our food arrived in under 10 minutes. I ordered the hungry man's combo because it had all of my favourite foods. It was excellent!

Eggs: I always get sunny side up. There is generally no fucking this up, and the yolk is great with my shredded potatoes.

Sausages: Fantastic! I generally hate sausages because they're fatty and greasy, but these were lean and tasty!

Other kind of Sausage: not the best I've had, but still good.

Bacon: This was probably the worst thing about my meal. The bacon wasn't by any means fantastic. I've never been fond of the apple smoked stuff. Just fry up some dead pig without adding anything and I'll be happy.

Pancakes: Superb! Fluffy and tasty! And they put butter on each layer unlike the crappy restaurants that only put it on the top layer.

I ate the whole thing as if I hadn't eaten for three days. My girlfriend's leg was spared.

Our server was good and he checked up on us a few times during the meal. He claimed back his empty dishes almost immediately after I had shovelled the food down my throat.

We got some pre-packaged mints made by Dare after the meal. They taste like Wrigleys doublemint gum. Not sure how to rate that, but any bonus is nice even if it tastes like old gum.

Overall, the meal was excellent for the price. You get less food at McDonalds for the same price. If you have time to sit and eat, just go to Perkins instead of a fast food joint simply because the value and the food is better. But when it comes to being in a hurry, nothing beats McDonalds.

Welcome to the Manitoba Food Blog!

At long last (and at the urging of my girlfriend), I have created a blog for reviewing the restaurants (and probably other random edible things) that are scattered across Manitoba. Apparently, my comments on the food we eat have been described as "colorful", and if you've read my main blog "Classical Gas Emissions", you probably know what's in store for your reading pleasure.

This was meant to just be a quick and dirty place to drop pictures and comments on what I've eaten, how much I liked it, and possibly even where I barfed it up if it's bad enough.

I have a few food-related allergies, so if those decide to surface, I will certainly make mention of them in hopes that I can help others who may have the same allergies as myself.

So, welcome to the Manitoba Food Blog. This shall be an adventure.